Girls Night Out

I'm afraid to make friends. I'm afraid if I tell them what I really think, girls won't like me. I don't really know why, I just know that it's been a struggle for me to make and keep friends for most of my existence. Mostly because we can't have a really honest relationship, because I'm spending all my time agreeing with whatever they say and then I get resentful and well, nobody likes a resentful friend. There is a very notable exception, my best friend Jami. And, we can discuss that relationship later, right now I want to talk about the evening out I just had.

I don't seem to have this trouble with men. I've never really had any trouble being completely open and honest as to how things are going when it comes to men and my relationships with them. Hmmm. Another discussion for later.

My neighbor on the north side of my house is awesome. She's kind, and nice, and fun to be with. She's better at making friends than I, and she's willing to share the friends that she's made. And, tonight 4 of us went to dinner at a new restaurant. We had fun. We laughed and talked and ate and it was good.

Here's where my fear comes into play. I have a strong point of view, and one of the other gals does too. And, our views don't always match up, in fact, I'd say we're polar opposites sometimes. Not necessarily on big issues, just on little bombs of issues. Like, school activities, and kids, and parenting. Not really big issues, right? Uh, yeah, if you're single with out kids their not BIG issues. So, tonight, we're discussing some of these 'small' issues and I found myself saying the words, "I don't agree with that at all." And, I kind of wanted to cry. (For those of you who know me, this revelation is NOT a surprise, the next one is.) But, I didn't. (Shocker!) I stuck to my guns and we had a calm, rational, discussion about the issue; then it was over, and we moved on to another topic of conversation. And, I DIDN'T CRY!!! We're still friends, too, I think. I'm still not totally sure on that, we'll see how it goes.

This is really big for me. I think that I may be *gasp* growing up. My relationships may just be growing up too. I'm so excited to have found a way to safely say, "I don't agree" and not feel like everyone is going to turn their backs and say, "fine, we're not friends". It's all very high-schoolish, but it's kind of a struggle that I think we all still have. Do they like me? Am I like able? Am I cool enough? Do they like my shoes? Grown ups don't really discuss thinking like this, and I'm not sure why I felt like I should talk about it tonight, except for the not crying thing that I am obsessing on. (Really, really proud of not crying.) So, maybe now I can shift my fear from making friends to making friends who I have to agree with all the damn time.

Did I mention that I wanted to cry, but I didn't? Yay!

Twilight Saga

So, I've recently become obsessed with all things Twilight, and I'm sure that I'll have more to say about this subject later. It started when my neice, Anna, came to stay and she strongly suggested that I read Twilight. I confess, I was really not interested. I mean, really. A vampire novel? Didn't we do that with Anne Rice about 15 years ago? Didn't like it then, probably won't like it now. Long story short, I ran through the rest of my books and picked up Twilight, and here we are today. I've read 4 books, in excess of 2,00o pages in less than a week. And, in some cases, I've read the books twice. Holy crap.

Along with the obsession of the actual text, I've found myself doing other compulsive things, like going to the author's webpage, watching movie trailers online, and google-ing the books, author, etc. And, I've come to find out that attached to this saga is a great deal of controversy. Lots and lots of controversy.


I have to say, that if I hadn't been looking for it, I wouldn't have found it, or cared. Right now, I'm not even sure that I do care. But, it is interesting to me. There are accusations of racism, sexism, anti-feminism, pro-life-ism, copy write infringement, literary licence, and bad writing being flung all about. Whoa! If I hadn't already read the books, I'd sure be tempted, as they're inspiring all kinds of passion.



What it comes down to for me is this. It's a book- a series of books. Fictional books. In my opinion, beautifully written, eloquent books that captured my attention and compelled me to sit down and read. For hours on end. And, I loved every minute that I was ignoring my daily life to be immersed in the lives of the Cullens and the Quileutes. Books that I fully endorse to all my friends who love to read, as these were a great escape for me. I wasn't offended that Bella had a baby, or that she didn't choose the "dark skinned" Native American, or that when she became a vampire that she ate possible endangered animals. I believe that there are no moralistic lessons to be taken from these, other than maybe, follow your heart, no matter how bizarre your dreams are, they are your dreams and your dreams alone. Who is it that said "he who doesn't have dreams, doesn't have much"?


Then there's also the whole hopeless devotion thing, how many women/girls out there would LOVE to have their partner be so attentive and loving toward them that he's totally, completely, devoted to her. Whole other post for that, I'm sure. I don't think that these books are a manual on how to live your real life, I'm pretty sure that vampires and shape shifters don't exist in my real life.


And, with all these points for discussions, we also get an entrance to start talking amongst ourselves and our teens about what we liked and didn't like within their covers. And, what we do and don't like about our surroundings. These books gave me an in with my niece. We email and have phone conversations about our most favorite and least favorite parts. She and I are fully on Team Edward, not because he's white, or marble like, or a vampire, but because he's romantic, and dangerous, and flawed. Did I mention romantic? And, dangerous? We analyze why this happened or that happened, and how they can possibly make a movie of only 2 hours from all the pieces and parts of the book. She gives me glimpses into her life and I get to know her better. We also discuss relationships, and how this is fantasy, and what reality looks like. But, mostly, we just talke. And, I'm OK with that. Plus, I got to read 4 really good books.

Renting Handbags

So, I'm surfing around today and an ad catches my eye. Bag Borrow or Steal.com. Handbag rentals. How exactly does that work? Do you fill out a form when you get the bag outlining the existing damage and when you return it does a rental agent scan it and check for additional damange? Do you get weekday or weekend rates? Are there different classes or upgrades available? What if the bag you reserved hasn't been returned? Are you elligible for a simiular make and model or are you automatically given a better model no additional charge?

Admittedly, I have not gone to the site to see if they answer all my burning questions. I'm sure that they do. And, if I decided to actually check out the site, I'd probably be impressed with what they have and do there. Seriously, it's a weird concept. Renting a handbag. That's so weird! I'm the first to admit, I love handbags. They are right up there with shoes for me. And, like most women, that's big. I have many handbags in my hobbit closet, hanging out in their protective bags, not getting dusty, waiting for me to choose them again to see the light of day. My current favorite is a pink Coach. It's a signature bag. I love it. I love pink and I love Coach so it is a win win for me. But, even with all that love, I am pretty darn mean to my little bag. I cram stuff into it, I toss in on to the floor in my car, I dump in on the floor in the house, I carry *gasp* granola bars in it. I am not nice to it. And, my guess is a good many handbag users are not nice to their bags either. So, why would you want to rent a bag that someone else has already not been nice to? And, why would they want to rent a bag that I had not been nice to? That is what I just don't understand. I'm sure there is something reassuring on the website like, all the bags are lovingly inspected and cleaned, and whatevered. But, really, I just don't see how borrowing a bag, inspected or not, is a good idea.

Seriously, I'm kind of befuddled by how and why this service exists. I guess I'm glad that it does. Because, if it didn't I wouldn't have had anything to say tonight.

Finally did it.

Kept threatning to do it. Now I did it. Hope the title/url is cool enough. Hope I can find things to type about. Hope someone finds me interesting. Or at least, somewhat entertaining. I find me entertaining. Hope I'm not alone in that. Off to set up a profile. And then do dishes.